My attention was brought to the Johnny Depp case by a friend of mine yesterday whose campaign to reform the Family court, #LightNotHate preaches common sense in a forum filled full of madness.
If you wish to learn more about this campaign please visit https://www.mckenziefrienduk.net/
Before We Start….
I must make this clear. I in no way support behaviour which deliberately or otherwise harms another person in any way, but I also do accept the fact that by it’s very nature, the end of a relationship can get messy and often, the only true victims, as a close relationship degenerates, are any children that find themselves stuck in the middle of that situation. It can quite often be the case that both the adults involved are may be guilty of behaviours or actions that under normal circumstances they would themselves find absurd, abhorrent and/or disgraceful.
This is not to deny the fact that there are of course a minority of truly abusive, manipulative people out there who do engage in acts of despicable domestic violence, where the victim is guilty of nothing more than being with the wrong person, but this is not in any way the behaviour I am referring to in this article.
I’m talking about where a normal relationship has gone bad, I’m discussing situations where both parties probably have grievances, where one party, potentially both, has engaged in behaviours they would not be proud of when examined at a later date. Simply put, I’m talking about
In my view this is not domestic abuse, its just a consequence of two people being emotionally hurt at the end of a relationship they may be struggling to let go of. Almost everyone reading this will recognise that situation.
In short the above is not commendable but it is not what most would think of as an abusive relationship, just the messy end of a normal one.
Hollywood Wives and Lives
The highly public case of Johnny Depp suing his ex wife Amber Heard for ‘deformation of character’ after she very publicly presented herself as a survivor of domestic violence, indeed I would personally challenge the usage of the term “Survivor” in this context. She very publicly aligned with the cause of victims of domestic abuse in the #Metoo campaign which some may consider she did so more for the publicity it gleaned than for a genuine desire to champion the cause. The case closed with a jury largely supporting the idea that Amber Heard deliberately attacked her ex husbands character with ill intent.
I think given the fact damages were awarded on both sides, albeit far larger damages awarded to Depp, shows the conclusion being that both parties had acted poorly and no one commenting on this should ignore that Depp’s actions were certainly less than perfect, but the wider implications are potentially a massive victory for the thousands of men who have their lives ruined by spurious accusations used in court for nefarious purpose.
Amber Heard had presented a case which was simply not upheld under the scrutiny of a court room investigation and in doing so, also very publicly shone a light on the deception used so often as a matter of course now in many family courts to undermine any chance a non resident parent, often a man, has of fair treatment, especially when it comes to child access.
An orgy of misogyny or a victory for Non Resident Parents?
A recent article in the Guardian newspaper described this case as “An orgy of misogyny” but on reading this I feel there is another point of view.
The case may well appear as a victory for the often male non resident parents everywhere who have really had enough of being labelled the only abuser, in what is often a two way exchange of anger, frustration and yes, potentially abusive behaviour that can sadly happen at the end of a relationship. But the point is it can be from both sides, a mutual exchange whilst emotions run high. Society would be better served understanding it for what it usually is, rather than allowing it to become a one sided label used to attack the other. As previously mentioned, these actions are not desirable nor should they be condoned but they are usually not serial abuse and should not be presented as such.
Unscrupulous lawyers in the UK utilising the fact that a client who presents as being a victim of domestic abuse can then claim thousands of pounds in legal aid sending it straight to the Family Law Firm coffers, and therefore sadly incentivising such claims no matter how little foundation they might have.
Indeed the threshold of what constitutes “Domestic Abuse” is now being set so low that most children in a playground could all be considered guilty of such on a weekly basis and most parents in attempting to control their kids behaviour even more so.
The potential change that could happen as a result of the JD/AH case, as messed up as the whole thing is, could have major impact which the backlash against the Woke #Metoo campaign which has potential to actually be very positive for many of the mainly male victims of Woke victim culture.
That’s regardless of how awful this case was on both sides.
Hollywood relationships have often been somewhat unstable but playing this out so publicly in what appears to have been a fairly self serving decision by AH to attempt to champion a cause in such a public manner has backfired on her but potentially also on every person who has utilised DV as a way of furthering their own ends. Whether you agree with the decision or not, I doubt real victims of such abuse would have chosen this as a forum for the issue whereas those who have genuinely suffered such would cringe at the spectacle.
Hollywood relationships have often been somewhat unstable but playing this out so publicly in what appears to have been a somewhat self serving decision by AH to attempt to champion a cause in such a public manner that has backfired on her but perhaps more relevantly, also on every person who has utilised a spurious accusation of domestic abuse as a way of furthering their own ends. Whether you agree with the decision or not, I would be at least a little surprised if real victims of such abuse would choose this as a forum for the issue. I believe those who have genuinely suffered domestic abuse or violence would cringe at such a spectacle, one that ultimately shines more light on the misuse of the DA banner than on the alleged abusers themselves.
Whilst there are some potential negatives of the outcome of this case and to underline my own stance, that REAL domestic violence is a disgusting and cowardly act…. the truth is that the mess that is the DEFINITION of Domestic violence or abuse within the Family Court system is a major issue which is wielded as a weapon by many to utilise groundless allegations to deny non resident parents access to their children, not to fight against the misery of a truly abusive relationship. Those who have really suffered such deserve to be supported and shielded but those who attempt to use the allegations of such should be treated with utter contempt and face some form of consequences for the damage they do to the lives of both their ex partners and their own children.
The Truth Hurts
The real victims of domestic violence should rally to the cause of truth and be vocal in supporting the eradication of the cry wolf crowd who do such a disservice to real victims purely to benefit their selfish ends. Worse they also damage the lives of their own children as a result.
In every relationship that lasts the distance, there are hard times, words said that maybe should not have been, arguments and perhaps even things done in anger that should not happen. But these are usually not acts of serial abuse, just the blend of frustration, emotional hurt and sometimes anger that only a close relationship can truly bring. The balancing act of love, tenderness and forgiveness that also only a close relationship can bring is why we have them.
To later label yourself a “Survivor” or “Victim” when you were absolutely as guilty as the other party does a massive disservice to every person who really suffered abuse at the hands of the tiny minority of people who engage in such disgusting behaviour.
Law firms who steer, suggest or otherwise take advantage of rules designed to protect those who have genuinely suffered domestic violence or are in danger of such, should risk very serious consequences including permanent exclusion from practice in family law if they are found to have exploited the system and should not only repay such fees to the state but be heavily fined for such corrupt malpractice.
Whilst such law firms will often point all blame to the client, I wonder how many people have had this avenue suggested to them as a way of funding their often unnecessary and extortionate fees
UNBX 